How to Be More Confident - 10 Steps to a More Confident You
There's people who we see in our lives who seem to just exude confidence, and we might wonder "why can't I be more confident like them?"
Well, the good news is that confidence isn't just something that you're born with or not, confidence is something you get to practice and create on a daily basis!
This is a topic I was asked to write about from someone in THIS community, so I'm definitely listening! Send your suggestions my way to firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll make sure to add it to my list of ongoing content! Let me know what's on your mind, and what you're struggling with when you think about living your best life.
At the end of the day, I'm here to serve YOU, here to celebrate YOU, and here to support you in living your best life! I'm always in your corner!
10 Steps to a More Confident You
Now, without further ado, here’s ten steps for more confidence!
1. Self Love and Care
It is critical, critical, critical that you practice self-love and care. Of ALL the items on this list, the most important of them all when it comes to building confidence is self-love.
When you love yourself, when you see the good in you, the inherent value in all that you are - that translates directly to confidence. This confidence is realconfidence, not confidence you have to fake. So, every morning make sure you do something that reminds you that you are amazing and that you love yourself! (I recommend a loving self-hug every morning )
Now, a necessary part of loving yourself in a healthy way includes loving on your body and treating your temple (I call my body my temple) in a way that ensures you are showing up as your best every day. This means exercising on a consistent basis, eating foods that energize you, and practicing mental health (meditation, gratitude, affirmations, etc).
2. Know Yourself
To be confident, you need to have clarity as to who you are and who you are choosing to become. When you know what you stand for, when you have DECIDED who you will show up as in the world no matter what the world throws your way, this shows up as confidence. When you know and like yourself, you can't help but go through life with grace and self-confidence.
This means you've got to do the work. We went to school for years to learn about math and science, and yet many of us haven't spent as much as two hours to get to really know ourselves and our deepest wants and desires. To decide who we want to be on this earth. To decide on what we want our legacy to be. Once you do the work, and you show up with integrity to you have decided to be, you will have incredible confidence!
3. Have Boundaries - Say No
To get to this step, you first have to do step 2. You need to know yourself so you can know what you will be intentional about saying yes and no to. But once you have decided what will no longer be tolerated in your life, then when situations or people present themselves that aren't in alignment with what's most important to you, then you have a much easier time saying no.
And you must get good at saying no. Peak performers are comfortable and practiced at saying no. Confident people are so secure in themselves that they say no. Doing step 2 will allow you to know what to say yes to, and have a way easier time saying no to the right things.
4. Be in Charge of Your Body Language
Being in charge of our body languages is so important to both feeling and looking confident. A quick tip here is to make sure you are not making yourself small with your body - that is crossing your arms, hunching, keeping your head down.
You want to make yourself big, open, keep your chest and head up, smile!, speak loudly and clearly, stand firmly, make eye-contact, and breathe in deeply. If you practice these things on a daily basis you will prime yourself to feel and look confident on the daily!
5. Look HOT and Upgrade Your Environment
Yes, make time to look damn good. When you look good, you feel good. Rather than walk around, you strut around. Go ahead and strut your stuff!
Also, make sure to upgrade your environment. I'm not saying go and go live in a castle (but hey, if you can go for it, that def counts as an upgrade!) but I am saying take pride in your space. Have your room, your home, where you come home to be a reflection of you, and thus have it be clean, tidy, and uncluttered. If you take care of yourself, take care of your things, this translates into how you do life.
How we do anything is how we do everything, and that starts with things as small as the intentionality we bring to how we dress and if we keep our home clean.
6. Power Name
Get yourself a name that is a trigger to make you feel powerful. I have all of my clients choose power names that remind them of their most confident, badass, and powerful self.
My name, for example, is Fire Storm. It speaks to my fire, my energy, my warmth, my passion, my intentionality and that when I decide on something there is nothing that can stand in my way.
What's your power name?
7. Priming Confidence
In this community, we don't just wait for things to happen, we make them happen. That includes not just waiting for confidence to knock on your front door, but it means being intentional about doing the things on the daily that will make you a more confident you.
Some things you can do to prime yourself to be more confident:
- Visualize yourself being your most confident everyday before you leave for work or school
- Establish a door frame trigger to remind you to be confident as soon as you arrive at a door. This idea I learned from Brendon Burchard, and it basically means that you can select a door, say the door when you first arrive to the building where you work, you make it a point to remind yourself every time you pass through that door that you will be confident for the rest of the day.
- You can also set an alarm for confidence. I recommend setting an alarm that reminds you to be confident three times a day for a month!
8. Be Excellent
Be disciplined, have integrity, and keep to your commitments. When we are in integrity with our best self, when we do what we said we'd do, when we show up as the best version of ourselves, when we do the work even though no one is watching, this builds confidence.
9. Build Competence and Allow Yourself to be a Learner
To be more confident, you have to make time to become more competent. This means you need to be intentional about scheduling in competence ... and allow yourself the grace to be a learner. Know that you're going to mess up. It's not always going to go according to plan. It's going to be messy. Revel in the journey. Allow yourself the grace to be a learner so you can achieve competence and thus be more confident in your abilities!
10. OWN yourself
Finally, we need to own ourselves. This means you've got to stop comparing yourself to others. This is why steps number one and two are soooooooo important. When you know who you are and you love yourself, you start living your life not from a place of comparison, but from a place of owning who you are and knowing that who you decided to be is amazing.
You'll know that you have everything you need inside yourself to live an amazing life. You'll be better able to celebrate others, see their wins and really feel genuinely excited for them, while knowing that you are on your own unique path to awesomeness.
You'll learn from others' lessons, and rather than having comparison rob you of your joy, you'll know that you are on your own amazing path, and you'll feel confident and happy knowing that you didn't just stumble onto it, but with deliberation and intention you decided to be the best and most confident version of you!
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Names are powerful things. They remind us of who we are, they stand for who we hold ourselves to be. Sometimes, we may have different names associated with who we are. In my life, most people call me Luz. Luz has a very professional feeling, she's a badass, confident, responsible, she works hard, she's gritty, bold, and gets it done. Luz is who you've probably met at a networking event.
Now, let me introduce Cristy. Cristy is what my family has called me all my life. "Whaaaat?!!" You might think, that's so weird calling you Cristy. Well, it is, and you shouldn't. Lol. This is really a name that is reserved for my family, for those closest to me, it would be super weird to have anyone who isn't my family call me Cristy. But what do we know about Cristy? She is the life of the party, she's fun, super funny (ahemm I laugh at my own jokes, okay?), looooves Karaoke, will be the last one to leave the dance floor, has done ecstatic dancing more than once, cries during movies, and adores her family. Whaaaattt??
Well, just like I have different parts of my personality, and different names that I grew up with have their own personality, I bet the same is true in one way or another in your life. You might be Jennifer before your team, but Jenny with your closest friends and family, and some might event call you DangerZone when you visit Vegas or Miami. No judgment, haha, we all are a beautiful combination of different parts of ourselves.
Psychologists and Psychiatrists use this in helping patients overcome depression and anxiety, and you can use it to become even more successful in your day-to-day life. So, on to the whole point of this article and your power name.
What is a power name? A power name is a name you imbue with characteristics that remind you of your most powerful and badass self. Since I run two businesses, and need to intentionally bring different parts of myself to my life, I have made it easier on myself by giving specific groupings of attributes different names. I know that day-to-day, Luz is a badass who gets shit done. Cristy is sweet, fun, and super playful. I am less intentional with these two since these names were basically given to me. But, there are names I have given myself, including my power-name: Firestorm.
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