Okay, so you're feeling blue, you're not living your best life, you're low on energy, and you're overall feeling like you're in a funk.
What do you do? How do you get yourself from an unresourceful state to a resourceful one? Glad you asked.
Below I'm going to focus on three things you can do to shake off that funk. If you want even more strategies to kick your blues to the curve, watch the entire training in which I include 10 things you can do starting right now to turn your frown into a smile.
So, let's do this!
1. Feel Your Feelings - let's start with first things first. Your feelings are telling you something and it's our job to listen and to be present with where we're at. You never want to make your feelings wrong, making it wrong destroys honest communication and connection with yourself and others. We have to honor what we are going through, rather than just brush it off as nothing. So slow down, take a breath, and check in with yourself. What's going on? Identify the feelings. What exactly are you feeling? What are you really feeling? Why are you feeling this way if you are vulnerable and honest with yourself? What does that tell you about your life and any changes (including changes in perfection) you might need to make?
Now, let's look at a couple of feelings. Did you know that each emotion that you feel is trying to tell you something?
Fear: fear is the anticipation that you need to be prepared for something that is going to happen or might happen. What fear is telling you is do the work to be prepared. Fear includes emotions such as anxiety, concern, apprehension, worry, and fright to name a few. So what can you do? Prepare best as you can, do your homework, put in the time, and then you have to #FaithRealHard. You have to surrender and TRUST, and keep going, keep charging towards living your best life.
Anger: In this group of emotions we have emotions such as anger, frustration, and being peeved. Does anyone else say peeved? No, is that just me? 😏These emotions tell us that an expectation that we had was not met. Whether that be having an important rule or standard that was violated, or our brain thinking things should be different from what they currently are. So what do these emotions tell us? They tell us to look carefully at our lives and assess our expectations. Do these expectations make sense? Do they set us up for success or are they really just setting you up for a lot of heartache? Is there a shift in perception that you need to make, or are there things that need to change around here? Assess and then take action.
2. Compelling Future - Next, create a compelling future for yourself. I won't go too in depth here, because that is exactly what we did during our first class of Life Coaching Monthly (LCM), for two whole hours, including exercises and homework on creating a compelling vision for your life ... that could change your life. The essence of it is: if you don't have a bright future, or a bright tomorrow, to wake up for, goals that make you jump out of bed with a fire in your belly, it's going to be much easier for you to fall into a funk not just once, but again and again. So, find a north star, a version of yourself that feels so exciting that when you think of this version of you that you are working on becoming, you remember that you are wasting precious time being in a funk, and that baby, you've got to get living!
3. Change Your State - finally, you've got to change your state. What does that mean, and how do we do it? Guys, this is sooooo important that I actually got a tattoo of the words "Beautiful State" on my ankle. That is dedication, y'all. I've committed to being an emotional control master-ninja-gladiator-badass. It's that important! It can change your life to be in control of your emotional, mental, and physical state. That is what it means to live a peak performance life. Okay, okay, Luz, I'm sold, you say, how do I do it?
First, MOVE! One of the best things you can do to change your state is to also change your physical state. Bring in physical states that require more energy. What you'll notice when you're feeling blue is that these are very low energy states. You feel meh, you just want to lie in bed and do nothing. But you see, we rise to the level of our conditioning, of our training, in all areas of your life, including our emotions. So tell me, how ripped are those emotional control muscles of yours? If not very, it's time to hit the emotional gym!
How do we train our emotional control muscles? You've got to know that you decide what emotions to entertain. I know, this sounds crazy, but stay with me. You get to decide that you will not allow suffering into your life. This doesn't mean that you can't allow yourself to feel your feelings, and be present with where you really are, but it does mean that you only allow these feelings for moments, not for weeks, months, and eventually for you to become a person who is a "blue" kind of person. Our conditioned emotions turn into who we are. So be very careful with what emotions to allow in. So, you've decided. I will be an emotional master-ninja-gladiator-badass, Luz! Now, what do I do?
Okay, let's roll our sleeves up and get to work. First pump your favorite empowerment song. Don't have one? Check out my playlist. Now, get moving, make your body big, do things that require energy, that make you sweat! Bring up the energy, quite literally, in the room.
Next, words. Be super aware of what words we allow into our day-to-day. When something doesn't go your way are you "fuck@^* pissed!" or are you "peeved"? These words influence the intensity of emotions that we feel. Choose your words carefully, grasshopper. Next, finish watching this training!
Alright all, that's it for today! I will catch you again next week and I'll catch you inside my Life Coaching Monthly LIVE next on 3/26/19 from 7:30pm-9:30pm CT! (but sign up today to be caught up, to craft your vision for your life, and to do the homework!!)
STOP waiting to be CHOSEN. You've got to choose yourself YOURSELF over and over and over again. ⚡️
No one gets to tell you what you can and cannot become, only you have that POWER. Not statistics, not "well, this is the way it's always been done," not "that's crazy, there's no way you can do it." It's your choice if you listen to limitations.
Got here from Mexico and lived in the Ghetto. Gang violence, poverty, low standards all around. Lived in a tiny apartment with 21, TWENTY-ONE!!!, people crammed in like sardines. I was one of the only from my group of friends to make it to school. Statistics said I shouldn't graduate, I would amount to nothing, be on government support my whole life. You know what I said? Bullshit. Fuck you. I don't need you, statistics to tell ME who I can or cannot become. 🙅♀️
Graduated from my high school class, third in my class, having enough college credits already accrued to graduate a semester early from college. Oh, got a full-ride scholarship to UC Berkeley, graduated a semester early, speaking 5 languages, having traveled all over the world, having been president of I don't know how many organizations, and ready to serve my country via service for two years with Teach For America.
You don't have experience ... you've never taught. I taught in the circle of fire, in the middle of the three most dangerous gangs in San Jose. But hey, this is how I grew up. I knew ALL about poverty, gangs, low expectations. My kids THRIVED in my classroom. They stuck around lunch time so they could work on complicated math problems that filled the entire board. We danced, we sang, we LOVED learning. I'd have to kick them out after school to finally go home. I stood before them and said "If I can make it, if I can be here, YOU CAN TOO." 🌟
Law school. Only two percent of Latinas in the US go to law school, now to a world-top tier law school, even less. Again, all statistics were against me. Honey badger don't care. I KEPT GOING. I attended Berkeley Law, ran a ton of organizations, ran the Berkeley Graduate Social Club - in charge of putting on events for all 11,000, eleven THOUSAND, graduate students at the best university in the world. I again traveled to the Netherlands and worked on an international justice program that was brining international legal standards to war-torn areas, making my dreams come true. ⚡️
In law school I was told it was impossible to get published, that you'd have to SETTLE for editing other's people work. I said BULLSHIT. Not only did I get published, I got published for the HARVARD Journal of Hispanic Policy. Take THAT statistics. Don't you DARE tell me who I can or cannot become. ⚜️
I completely changed careers. I entered the world of startups. Was told again and again: "you don't have experience", "you've never worked in startups", "you don't know this world". BULLSHIT. FUCK YOUR LIMITATIONS. They don't hold ME back. I worked at a startup, two years later started MY OWN to disrupt the world of global finance and banking. You know... no biggie. We're still on that journey. My dreams have no timeline. But watch out banking world, because this girl is on a mission, and when I'M on a mission, it GETS DONE. 🔥
"YOU'RE NOT AN ENTREPRENEUR" Ouch. One of my closest mentors years ago told me "you don't have what it takes to be an entrepreneur." That one hurt. But you know what? I held a space of compassion and empathy because they don't know me and what I'm made up like I do. It's okay, I still love them and I KNOW I'm the only person who gets to define whether I'm successful or not. Now, I'm a serial entrepreneur, speaker, soon-to-be-author, video influencer, taking action, growing an incredible brand and global movement. 💫
Running 13 miles. My first Marathon. FIFTY FREAKING MILES. You've never done it before. It's too hard. You need to train for yearssss. Blah, blah, blah. Did them all. Each one hard, terrifying, painful, but did it. No one gets to tell me what I can or cannot do. No one gets to tell YOU what you can or cannot do or BECOME. 💥
Coaching. You don't have experience. You've never done it before. You don't know how to ..... Again, BULLSHIT. You don't get to tell me what I can and cannot do, or how big my success can be. Statistics, data points, whatever... you don't get to tell me how big or quickly I can grow my brand. Watch out world, because this girl is going to be a household name around the world and we're going to be doing incredible work to have people exercise their agency and STEP INTO THEIR POWER. We're going to show that you can lead from love, stand for community and collaboration, and have an incredible life doing it! 💫
Each time, had a HARD goal, something EVERYONE told me to take the safe route on, to just keep it safe, to not think too big, to stop dreaming so big, to just keep my head down, each time I had to FIGHT to CHOOSE ME.
My whole life has been an exercise of me telling the world, "I hear what you're saying, I see the numbers, I see the stats" but I DON'T CARE. I GET TO DECIDE WHO I AM. I DECIDE WHO I'M BECOMING. And baby, things are about to heat up. 🔥
Who is an actuary? A person who compiles and analyzes statistics and uses them to calculate insurance risks and premiums. If an actuary had looked at all my data points, my background, immigrant kid that got here not speaking English, living in poverty in the wrong part of town, going to meh schools, latina, a woman, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what it's to be? Absolute bullshit.
How about you? Are you CHOOSING YOU?
It's time you CHOSE YOU. No one else can choose you. YOU get to choose you. You HAVE to choose you.
I believe in YOU. I see your BIGNESS. I've been told over and over what I couldn't do and who I couldn't become. That sounds like "blah, blah, blah" in my ears. It's time you did the same, every time you hear other people limiting you, heck, even you limiting you I just want you to hear "blah, blah, blah."
SO, TODAY. THIS YEAR, STEP INTO YOUR POWER. 🔥
Claim all that you are meant to become. Know that ONLY YOU can define that.
We're in this together. Baby, we're in for a ride.
Join me for my monthly coaching program, STEP INTO YOUR POWER. Sign up here: https://bit.ly/2MCyzKG
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Hey, I need your help.
Yes, I'd love your support on _____.
Hey team, can you support me by _____.
No, I can't do that, I need to take care of myself first.
Sorry, I can't make that time/date.
I need to go sooner than I expected.
Asking for help.
This has been a humbling and beautiful journey. You see, before I started as a full-time entrepreneur, I always was the strong one that held everyone else. The giver. I never NEEDED help (or so I thought), there was simply no space for someone to give to me for a change.
Then I became an entrepreneur and I embarked on a journey of the most incredible self-development I could have imagined. It's been humbling. It's been HARD. It's been beautiful. It's been the most incredible journey I could have imagined, and we're just getting started! 😍
In my entrepreneurship journey I had to learn the concept of surrender and FAITH. I was so lucky to have had incredible self-love coaching before I embarked on this journey of entrepreneurship, because YOU CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT SELF LOVE.
In my journey, I completely took off my oxygen mask for my business, and we know you can't do that! 🙅♀️
In the process, there were many tears, anxiety, crazy hours, stress, getting sick, you name it. I HAD to let people in and make myself vulnerable to having other people hold me for a change. Welp. 😳
I HAD to learn to prioritize me before I prioritized anything else, otherwise I would have nothing left to give to my business, my loved ones, and the world. That meant getting really comfortable saying NO and setting BOUNDARIES.
And let me tell you, it was the most beautiful (and painful/uncomfortable) lesson to go through, that truly humbled me, but also showed me how loved we can be if we just let others love us. ❤️
People want to feel needed, know that they can give to YOU as much as you give to them. I learned to graciously say please and thank you. I relaxed into trusting and faithing, and knowing that people had my back, and if they didn't it was okay, I was going to be fine. But mostly, once given a chance, everyone in my life stepped up and loved on me so hard. I have never in my life felt more loved and supported, and this only came from being forced to let people in. I can be stubborn sometimes....it's the Taurus in me. 🐮
And now we're here, years later, practiced and comfortable in SELF-LOVE, vulnerability, courage, boundaries, and RECEIVING love and support from the people in my life.
Yesterday, I woke up with not one, but THREE cold sores. I know, gross. I had no more juice in the tank. I was on the couch all day, but you see, I had coaching calls to make with my clients.
So, I did what I've learned to do. I asked my team to step up for me and hold that strength for me, even though they're my clients. And they over delivered. They ran the whole thing, with me sitting on the couch holding space for them. I was so touched that of course, I cried, told them how absolutely amazing they are, and felt SO LOVED. 💖
Tonight, I have a huge launch event. Been prepping for months. And again, I'm going to lean on my team to support me and the work we're doing together. I know they've got my back. They've rallied around me, they're traveling from all over the Bay to make this a kickass event, and my heart is absolutely full knowing that I have such amazing people in my life.
I could go on and on for days about the just absolutely amazing people in my life. My parents, my fam, my friends, my different communities. You know I gush about you all. I just want to say THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU. You make my life and world a better place. 💕
Thank you for holding space, thank you for being amazing, thank you for being YOU.
So, how about you? Are you letting people LOVE you? Are you letting people hold space for you? Letting others be strong for you? ✨
If you haven't, I really recommend it. It's the most beautiful thing in the world.
Today, may you go and LOVE. ❤️
I'm soooooooo excited to announce that starting next month I'll be offering a LIVE Life Coaching Program that EVERYONE can join!! 😍🔥
Every month, YOU AND ME, going over the best strategies in the world for you to live a life where you are truly THRIVING. Where you are in the driver's seat. A life where you are healthy, wealthy, and HAPPY. Where you feel like your SOUL IS ON FIRE. 🔥🔥🔥
I've been asked again and again how people be coached by me in a way that was more affordable, and THIS IS IT!! 😍
I'll be sharing the best tools, strategies, and resources that I ONLY share with my high-end clients so YOU TOO can have access to this WORLD-CLASS COACHING.
You've seen me grind. You've seen me hustle. You've seen me WORK my bootie off. 💪
For decades I followed a path of "traditional success," and it was SUCKING MY SOUL DRY. I was unhealthy and suffered from debilitating anxiety. I sucked at relationships. My idea of success was based solely on my achievingness and all the gold stars that I received from the outside world. My finances sucked. I had no connection to spirituality, and felt alone, at the mercy of life. Mostly, I didn't know how to love myself, heck, even accept myself.
On the outside I looked "successful," but I was headed the wrong path.
As some of you know, I got really sick about 8 years ago. It was a really bad scare that sent me to the hospital's ER room, and as terrified as I was, I am so grateful to have had that dark moment in my life.
That moment changed my life. This was the warning sign I needed to really look at how I was living my life. It was the, "HEY, YOU BETTER WAKE UP AND START LIVING THIS LIFE DIFFERENTLY, OTHERWISE YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN MAJOR PAIN YOUR WHOLE LIFE."
But I got it. I was NO LONGER willing to live a life for everyone else BUT me. I was no longer willing to shape-shift myself so I could have others accept me - you see, my entire sense of self-worth came from the outside world. I was no longer willing to dim my light. I was DONE not living life as a full expression of who IIII wanted to be. I was no longer willing to settle for a life that was painful or just "okay." I WAS DONE. 🙅♀️
Here was my declaration of independence. I was going to start doing things differently.
I got serious about turning my life around. Just, in the last 3 years I read over 300 books, invested every last penny into EVERY conference, workshop, online course, and training. I signed up for every webinar. I watched all the Youtube videos. I invested in coaches. Tens of thousands of dollars, all the money I had, on ME and my future. I stayed up late, woke up early, worked weekends. YOU NAME IT, I DID IT. I was a woman on a mission. I was going to turn my life around. I was going FINALLY start living a life that I, MEEEEEE, was thrilled to wake up to each day. 🔥
And slowly but SURELY, things started turning around.
I TRANSFORMED MY LIFE.
Now, I am at the healthiest I have been my entire life with energy to burn! I left a career that was unfulfilling and since then started two companies. In the last year alone, I 35x'd my income, and this is just the beginning! I reconnected with my spirituality. I turned my relationships around and now thrive in them. I'm HAPPY. I'm in alignment with a ME that I'm so thrilled to continue to grow into for years to come.
I learned how to love myself. To exercise courage everyday. I leaned into that edge beyond the comfort zone so I could GROW into the version of me that I was so excited to wake up to everyday. I said YES to a future that felt in integrity to who I wanted to become and the impact that I wanted to have in this world.
I started LIVING. Truly living. Living for ME. ❤️
And with this LIVE monthly coaching program, I want to condense YEARS, heck, DECADES of research, best practices, and more importantly, lived experience, so you don't have to go through the suffering I went through. So you can ACCELERATE YOUR GROWTH to live a life where YOU feel like your soul is on fire, and you're in the driver's seat of your life. 🔥🔥🔥
You see, my success is NO ACCIDENT. There are PATTERNS OF SUCCESS, of HAPPINESS, of HEALTH, of THRIVING REALTIONSHIPS, of WEALTH, of SPIRITUAL growth. I've dedicated years, and years, and YEARSSSSS to studying them and putting them into practice. They've COMPLETELY CHANGED MY LIFE.
I'd be thrilled and so honored if you join me once a month so I can share these SAME tools that changed my life with YOU. 🙏
You are not here to merely SURVIVE, and let NO ONE tell you otherwise. You are here to THRIVE. You DESERVE to make your life a masterpiece. You were made for MORE, to step into your POWER, to shine your LIGHT, to make this the year you take a STAND FOR MORE. 🌟
The greatest gift from our creator is our potential. NEVER underestimate what you can accomplish.
If I can be where I am, if THIS immigrant, poor kid, with the accent, from the wrong side of town ... can make her life a masterpiece, baby, YOU CAN TOO.
So, how about YOU?
Are you DONE settling? Are you DONE not being in the driver's seat of your own life? Are you DONE living for everyone else but for YOURSELF. Are you SICK and TIRED of putting yourself last on your own priorities list?
Are you ready to step into the version of you that is THRIVING in all aspects of your life?
If so, SAY YES TO YOUR LIFE, to the version of you you are BECOMING, and join me for an epic year of coaching that will transform your life if you commit to stepping up day-after-day. Your life is MEANT to be a masterpiece, and I would LOVE to work with you to make it so.
You and I have a date each month make sure that you are connected to your PURPOSE, that you rise to meet your full POTENTIAL, and that you show up to your every day as the BIGGEST, BRIGHTEST, and BOLDEST version of you on this journey we call life.
Join me! Join our tribe, become a luminary and shine that beautiful light of yours BRIGHT! ✨✨
Sign up here today:
3am, 2am, 2am, 2am, 1am. The time I went to sleep this last week.
Why do I WORK SO HARD?
Why do I act with such URGENCY?
Because of these two people right here.
My parents literally have given EVERYTHING to give me and my siblings a better shot at life, they have made unbelievable sacrifices, continued to believe in me when no one else did, told me to keep going, never told me I was dreaming too big or wanted too much.
You see, the story really begins a LONG time ago. My family doesn't come from wealth or power, not in a traditional sense at least. But, I do come from a long line of certified warriors, leaders, healers, and badasses.
I have to start wayyyyy back, with mis abuelitas and abuelitos, who set an example of what it means to be a beacon of strength for your family and community. Especially thinking of what my abuelitas stood for, these BADASS MUJERES, how they showed up in the world being women who lived during a time when the world wasn't used to women yielding such strength and power ... I can't help but know their essence and history is part of me today.
Both, mis abuelitas are TOTAL badasses. My abuelita from my mom's side, had fourteen, yes FOURTEEN, babies all in "El Rancho," pretty much in the middle-of-no-where Mexico. These births weren't in a hospital, nope, it was just with whatever resources you could find on your own. My grandpa and grandma, were the leaders for their little community. They were the force behind building the ONE school, paving the roads, and bringing electricity to their town. My grandma, was not only beautiful, but diplomatic, sharp, loving, and yielded a silent but commanding power.
Mi abuelita from my dad's side became a widow when she had 10 kids to take care of. She was left to handle the household, to care for the kids, and somehow make ends meet as a widowed woman during that time. It was a common occurrence for 20-30 people to eat at my grandma's every day, and she thus had to manage a household in which 20-30 people came in and out on a daily basis. On her freaking own. Every time I think of what it must have been like to be my grandma, I'm just in awe at how she led her family with grace, kindness, and strength.
So my parents came from these badasses. My mom is a freaking warrior, healer, badass spiritual leader with an indomitable spirit, and always, always the life of the party. My mom was 13th out of 14 kids, and she lived through incredible scarcity in her childhood. The stories I've heard still leave a knot in my throat as I think about these times, and how hard she fought to fight against ALL the odds. My mom has always LOVED reading (I guess this is where I get it from). When she was little, she would hide in the mango trees, where no one could reach her, so she could read uninterrupted. Then, some nuns that were visiting noticed how much she loved to learn and they urged my grandparents to let her study. She went off to the "big city" all on her own as a teen, and struggled through hunger and sexism, but never gave up. My mom went to receive her Masters in Chemistry and Physics. Mic-freaking-drop. Ummmm....really?!! How amazing is this woman?!!!! Then after immigrating to the US, she spent years at the community college teaching herself English, was the most active parent on EVERY parent organization, and she FOUGHT to make sure her kids had as many opportunities as any other kid in any wealthier town or zip-code. I can go on for days, one day in a book, I will.
Then there's my dad. Whose tales I heard for years of his adventures as a young man. Who shaped so much of my values system, and who literally has done EVERYTHING in his power to take care of his family. My dad who has NEVER relied on society to tell him what's right and wrong, who listens to the beating of his own drum. Who is a certified genius, but didn't care to follow what traditional society told him success looked like, nope, he was going to do his own thing. One of the most spiritual and wise people I have EVER met, even from all the books I've read, sometimes I think I need to just have a recording and write the things he says. He who as a young kid had to start using crutches, then a wheelchair, and who said, YOU CAN'T FREAKING STOP ME, and still kept on going being a total badass. Who's done every job under the sun to take care of his families. He who taught me to never take no for an answer. Whose lame jokes always make me crack up. These tales, and jokes, to come too. Honey badger don't care. My dad is the original honey badger.
They both have taught me relentlessness. Kindness. Faith. Liveliness. Passion. Laughter. Sarcasm. Gratitude. Having a larger vision. Giving it your all until you succeed.
Every time, I choke up thinking of all my parents have been through to give my brother, sister, and I a better chance at life.
You think I'm going to work my ass off to show them that their sacrifices were worth it? To make sure that they never have to want for ANYTHING? To make sure that the rest of their many years here on earth are full of the ease, abundance, and adventure? You bet.
These two are my why.
I will keep going. Will keep WORKING. Will keep showing up. Iterating. Doing what it freaking takes, because they are my why.
What's YOUR why?
Okay, home stretch!! Today we'll be covering the last five practices of our 15 practices for an epic 2019! Let's do this!
15 Practices for An Extraordinary 2019 - PART III
11. Get Outside Your Comfort Zone - Nothing amazing happens from within the dreaded comfort zone. In 2019, I want you to promise yourself that you'll practice stepping outside of your comfort zone consistently.
To really develop as a human being on this journey we call life, we can't hold on for dear life to certainty and safety. If there is a constant in life it's CHANGE (well, that and taxes). We can't be so tied to our comfort zone that we are rigid and unwilling to stretch ourselves to intentionally grow into the next level of our development.
Are you tolerating less than you deserve because unhappiness feels better than uncertainty? This is a sure sign that you are holding on to the comfort zone for dear life.
What if we loosen the grip, what if we allow ourselves to breathe, to take a tiny step of imperfect courageous action, to explore new possibilities (like moving to Texas)? Maybe, just maybe, you'll discover that something grand... a more courageous, powerful, skilled, expansive, confident, and happier version of you waiting for you to give her/him a chance to show up in your life.
This year, I want you to be uncomfortable and do it anyway. I want you to GO before it's perfect. Say yes to dancing with the magic that lies beyond the comfort zone.
12. Do More of What Makes YOU Happy - This year I want you to get really serious about happiness. Serious about happiness, haha! Okay, okay, you know what guys, I think my jokes are funny 😜. But really, I want this year to be the year you really get to know yourself and the things that most make YOU happy. And then go DO them. I want you to put happiness on your calendar. I want you to study your joy, your light, your playful and fun side, and the things that bring you most joy and make sure you are prioritizing that in your life. Life is too short not to know what makes you happy and to not prioritize joy. There is no "waiting until ____" to prioritize happiness. No, this is an everyday priority.
I've actually been studying happiness for years. So much so that I even invented a whole concept around it: #Happinizing (book to be written in the next few years!) I was sooooo unhappy in my life, that I was forced to study happiness so I could have more of that good stuff in my life. Based on my years of research, I arrived at a conclusion. People say that happiness is a choice, I call bullshit. Happiness is a skill. You've got to practice happiness. You've got to be intentional about creating a happiness routine in your life, this is why I need you to know you and know what makes YOU happy. Please, make #happinizing, and your happiness a priority this year. It could change your life, I know it did mine.
13. Prioritize Self-Love and Care - This year I want you to really prioritize self-love and self-care. I know that at one point when my coaches told me that I should prioritize self-care I looked at them with a blank stare. What? Self-care? What does that even mean? And what do you mean I have to do this...
But this has meant everything. You see, my not prioritizing self-love and self-care led to me getting pretty sick. I was prioritizing everything and everyone but me. I was last on my priorities list. It sucked. But that girl is no more! She got coaching and now I have dedicated time on my calendar to make sure I am taking great care of me. I schedule in massages, quiet time, exercise, healthy means, alone time - whatever self-care and self-love means to me, it goes on my calendar on a consistent basis!!
So tell me, what does your self-care regimen consist of? How do you celebrate self-love and self-care on a weekly basis?
14. Say YES to Love - As you know, my themes for 2019 are LOVE and EXPANSION. Love for me means reaching for more than just connection. It means being open to being vulnerable to my family, my friends, the special person in my life, and my tribe (you!). It means I have sooooo much love for myself and the world, that I no longer look for external validation or approval. It means I connect with my heart and listen to the song that it hums. It means that just like with happiness, I practice love. I'm intentional about love. I visualize, breathe it in, basque in love. Because, after all, all you need is love.
15. Have Faith and Believe in Yourself - Finally, in 2019 I need this to be the year that you really, really tune in and say YES to Faith and believing in yourself, your potential, and your future. Faith means breathing into those hard parts, giving yourself grace, knowing that it's going to be okay even if it's hard right now. Faith means standing steady, even as your knees shake and voice quavers. Faith means trying again, and again, and again, and knowing that you are on your way.
We can work, we can be disciplined, we can fight, and sometimes, things just work out differently. Faith means having grace with your path, with yourself, with your journey, and learning to as they say in Silicon Valley, iterate. Try it this way, that way, but keep at it, holding steady, knowing that you've got everything you need right now to turn your life into the masterpiece that it deserves to be.
In 2019, you've got to choose you. You have to keep choosing you every day. You have to believe that you can have the life that you are working to turn into a reality. You have to know that right now, you are whole, you are enough, you are safe, you are worthy, you are enough.
And if you do these 15 practices, if you 1) Step Into Your Power, 2) Choose Positivity and Joy, 3) Are Courageous, 4) Are the Boldest, Brightest, and Badassiest Version of YOU, 5) Say No to Perfection, Yes to Action, 6) Have the Audacity to Dream BIG, 7) Fight for Your Dreams, 8) Be Disciplined and Work HARD, 9) Establish a Morning Routine, 10) Take Charge of Your Growth, 11) Get Outside Your Comfort Zone, 12) Do More of What Makes YOU Happy, 13) Prioritize Self-Love and Care, 14) Say YES to Love, and 15) Have Faith and Believe in Yourself, this will be one of the most epic years of your life.
If you continue it past 2019, your life promises to be a pretty incredible and joyous masterpiece.
So go make it amazing.
Make it grand.
2006 to 2019… fine wine baby. 😉
This aging challenge really made me think and celebrate our journey of life. I never understood people, especially women that hide their aging journey. Be proud. You earned those years, those moments of laughter, the fact that you are resilient and still standing.
Who you see in that 2019 picture is a woman that loves herself and her life. A woman that is radiant, trusts herself, celebrates her life, is comfortable in her own skin. She celebrates her life, her journey, her struggles, and by loving herself and her journey, she is able to also love and celebrate others on their own journey.
It’s taken me YEARS to stand in my power and in my skin and feel confident and love myself. Now, I can say that I am confident and I love myself. But this wasn’t always the case. This challenge made me feel sad for how long it took me to be the radiant, whole, self-loving, appreciating, and confident version of me in 2019.
It made me think of all the things I wish the me in 2006 had known. Here are some that come to mind:
You are Inherently Valuable and Lovable. You don’t have to win any trophies, look a certain way, live a certain lifestyle to love yourself and your life. You are worthy and valuable because you EXIST. You are amazing and whole as you are. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work on yourself, and fall in love with growing and pushing the edges of the comfort zone, but you are ENOUGH RIGHT NOW.
You Are Not Your Resume. You don’t need to achieve to be valuable. You are separate from your achievements. Yes, be ambitious and go after all that you want! Take on challenging projects that require you to grow, but know that apart from your professional accolades, you are amazing and deserving of all the best things that life could have for you.
You are Beautiful. You are sooooo beautiful because of who you are, how you live your values, your courage, your sense of humor, your love for others and the world. You get to strut your stuff, and not dim your light to make others feel more comfortable. The sexiest person in the room is the one that loves themselves, feels comfortable in their own skin, and radiates that inner love to the world. You loving yourself, and being confident in yourself, is one of the most beautiful things in the world. And damn sexy too.
Love Your Body. Don’t try to look good and eat the right amount of calories to fit a specific mold of what society says is beautiful. No. Exercise, eat right, and LOVE your body because it’s healthy, and because your body is your one and only temple. Treat it with the utmost respect, kindness, love, and adoration. Do this because you LOVE YOURSELF, not because you hate yourself. Stand in front of the mirror naked and tell yourself that you are gorgeous, beautiful, deserving, and yes, sexy (no matter what the scale reads).
Your Plan Won’t Work Out, and Something More Amazing Will Takes its Place. My beautiful girl, you the girl with all the plans, the 10 year plan, the married by 26 and kids by 28 plans, the I’m going to be a lawyer plans, the plans to contribute and love the world, your plans won’t work out. You will learn to be flexible, to Aikido with life, to learn from the journey, and to enjoy every step of the way. But don’t let that concern you or bring you down, keep making plans, keep being ambitious, keep striving to have a life in which you thrive. If you live in integrity with your values, everyday of your life you will wake up to a life you are so proud to exist in. Every night when your head hits your pillow, you will sleep soundly knowing that this life you are living is YOURS, and the inner pride, confidence and love that comes from that is priceless.
Careful How You Talk To Yourself. I am. The two most powerful words in the world. You have to, your entire life, be your number one cheerleader. You must believe more in yourself than anyone believes in you, you must love and celebrate yourself. Stand with your head held high, and have the words that follow I am be words of love, kindness, compassion, adoration, and celebration. You teach people how to treat you, so it’s your responsibility to treat you with adoration, and that includes how you speak to yourself when you’ve messed up, when you were mean, when you felt jealous, when you felt scared or weak. Know that you are safe, you will make it. And also, know that when you are thriving, it’s okay to thrive. You are safe in thriving. Be all that you can be. Celebrate your successes. Shine your light to the maximum, because the world needs your light to shine bright.
Make Self-Care and Self-Love a Priority. My loved one, you don’t have to exhaust yourself trying to make everyone else happy. You get to say no. Build healthy boundaries. Know what you want and give that to yourself. Take time out each week to only focus on loving yourself — whether that is getting a massage, sitting in silence, reading a book, going dancing, being in nature, YOU need to add these to your calendar. Feeling rundown and overwhelmed? Cancel that date. Ask for help. Make your needs heard. You matter, and you need to make sure your happiness is top of YOUR priority list.
Invest in Your Growth, and Know that You are Your Best Investment. One of the best things you can do in your life is to invest in yourself. This means investing in books, going to trainings, workshops, eating only the healthiest foods, and doing all the things that will help you become a version of yourself that shows that you are continuously growing. When you look back, this will be the one thing that will have moved your life forward more than anything else. You have to prioritize your growth and personal and professional development, and doing in your own way. This means you’ll have to look inside for the answers of who YOU want to become, but don’t worry, the answers have always been there.
Don’t You Ever Lower Your Standards, No Matter What Anyone Else Says.You will have people left and right telling you what you should and should not want. What you should and should not be. But only you have the answers to how YOU get to live your life. Stop trying to please others and live your life to fit some sort of mold, this will only lead to unhappiness. So keep being the dreamer that you are, keep those standards high, keep smiling at the world, and know that one day you will not only be able to say “I made it” but you’ll also have the tools to show others how to do the same.
So whether you are in your teens, you are in your twenties, or in your 70s or 80s, please own your beauty, your power, your wisdom. Know that you are ENOUGH right now. Know you are BEAUTIFUL right now. Yes, choose the path of growth and development, but do so because you LOVE yourself not because you see yourself as deficient in any way.
Know that on this journey, you and only you, are responsible for your happiness. For your feeling of self-worth. For your wholeness. For your light.
My wish for every woman and man, is that we celebrate each year we get older and keep smiling bigger with each year that passes because life is GRAND!
For me, the end of the year and the beginning of the year are immensely important — it’s a sacred time for reflection, processing, thinking, and also planning, visualizing, vision-boarding, and strategizing.
I closed out the year this 2018 by heading to Multiversity 1440 and treating myself to a few days of quiet reflection and planning. It was pretty incredible. I partook in yoga, qigong, hiking, ate local, organic, and healthy meals, made new friends, and really set myself up for the start of a pretty magical year. I closed out the year with my family and opened the new year by going on an epic hike with my niece (pics below!).
As I reflected, journaled, studied patterns, I kept asking myself, “What am I going to share with my community to help them also start the year off on the strongest note? Where they start the year feeling energized, invigorated, and FIRED UP.”
The following fifteen practices are what resulted from that careful reflection. I’m so excited to be sharing with you, and know that if you commit to doing these things for the entirety of 2019, your life will be extraordinary.
15 Practices for An Extraordinary 2019 — PART I
1. Step Into Your Power — As you step into 2019, I want to invite you to step into the most powerful version of you. No more apologizing for your light or for your dark. Listen to this song and have it on repeat. You as a whole human being — with your triumphs, your trials, your happiness and your sorrows — you are whole, you are worthy, you are powerful. Make this year the year that you commit to stepping into your power and to no longer turn down the volume or shrink down to make others “more comfortable.” This world needs you to be at your best, at your brightest. You can’t be a good copy of someone else, the only one you can be a great one of is YOU, so be great. Don’t shy away from or back down from what it means for you to shine your light. Exercise self-agency and get in the driver’s seat of your own life. No more sitting on the sidelines as life is passing you by. NO. This year you RISE.
2. Choose Positivity and Joy — I need you to choose positivity and joy every day of your life in 2019. And that’s the thing, it’s a choice. You have to keep choosing joy and positivity again and again. Being a cynic is the easy way out. It’s lazy. It’s not creative. It adds no value. However, choosing joy and positivity, regardless of what’s happening in your life, now that is courageous, bold, an act of rebellion against the smaller, scared parts of our human nature. This year, make joy a priority every day and see your life transform.
3. Be Courageous — This year, be courageous. Do the right thing even though it’s hard. Speak up for your colleague when no one else will. Treat everyone you encounter, whether janitor or executive, with kindness and respect. Speak your truth. Live your life in integrity to yourself. This I learned from my dad. He would say, “When I go to sleep at night and my head hits that pillow, I know that I’ve been true to myself, I know I’ve done the right thing, I know I haven’t taken the easy way out.” Take my dad’s advice, and be courageous in your life.
4. Be the Boldest, Brightest, Badassiest Version of YOU — Speaking about being courageous, have the courage to be the boldest, brightest, badassiest version of yourself for you. Stop being what everyone wants you to be. Listen to the song that emanates from your heart — only you can be that unique expression of yourself. Stop hiding your gifts, your voice, your smile, your passions. Allow yourself to be YOU.
In studies of the biggest regrets of the dying, one of the top five regrets was not being an authentic expression of oneself. Don’t let this be you. Don’t allow one more day, week, month, year, go by making yourself wrong. Saying no to who you really want to be during your time here on earth. Don’t live a life of regrets, it’s not worth it. Be courageous. Take the path least traveled. Dance to the song that plays inside your chest, and that only you can share with this world.
5. Say No to Perfection, Yes to Imperfect and Courageous Action — So many people become frozen by the idea of perfection. Things have to be just right for you to do that thing that you’ve been dying to do for years. NO!! Start today. Right now. Take one step. Even if it’s tiny. Even if it sucks. Even if you “fail.” Don’t be paralyzed by perfection, nothing will move your life forward like taking bold, courageous action. So, start today.
6. Have the Audacity to Dream BIG — You know I’m not the coach that’s going to tell you to sit back and relax and take it slow. Nope! I want you to dream big, to have the audacity to imagine the most exciting version of who you can become. There is no playing small here, no settling, no “well, that’s good enough.” No! My belief is that life is meant to be grand, exciting, fun, full of growth, and the only person who can make that version of your life happen is you.
I’m sorry to break it to you, but there are people less trained, talented, and with less connections than you that are making it happen. They are hungry. They are ambitious. They are taking bold, courageous action on their big dreams. They’re not letting excuses hold them back. What about you? Are you stepping up, are you allowing yourself to actually want all that you want? Are you waking up excited for the grand vision of your life that you are working on day after day? If not, isn’t today a great day to start?
Powerful stuff, right?!
We’ll continue with practices 7–15 next week! I didn’t want to overwhelm you with all fifteen practices (although if you really can’t wait to hear all fifteen you can just go to my video where I cover all of them!), and I want to invite you to reflect on these first six practices over the next week.
Try on courage. Step into your power. Choose joy. Start dreaming big again. Take bold, courageous action, and be the brightest and strongest expression of your authentic self. If you do these things, I can promise you you’ll be off to a pretty amazing year!
Catch you next week!
Last week we left off at the first six practices for having an epic year in 2019. Let’s keep it going with our next four practices (with five left for next week)!
15 Practices for An Extraordinary 2019 — PART II
7. FIGHT for Your Dreams — This is a really interesting one for me. Yes, I used the word FIGHT. I’ve used this term in the past and have received pushback, resistance, discomfort with the concept of fighting. I think for some reason we’ve gotten to a point where some people expect that just by wishing hard enough your dreams will come true. Maybe that’s been the case for some people, but I sure as hell know that I’ve had to fight to get to where I am.
I know that given where I come from I HAD to fight. Not fighting meant accepting poverty, low standards, statistics, all against me. Not fighting with all my might just wasn’t an option, and it still isn’t. Not fighting isn’t an option when you have big dreams to go after, when you’re changing the way your family, heck the entire community where you come from, lives. I feel a sense of urgency behind achieving my goals because for me so much is on the line. Not fighting is just not an option.
What about you? Who are you fighting for? Do you have a sense of urgency? Is your why setting a strong example for your kids? Is it being able to take care of your parents in old age? Is it once and for all living a life that feels true to YOU? What’s your most compelling WHY? Because if your why is strong enough, when hard times come, and they will, you won’t hang your head low and take it…NO, you will fight. So find a why big enough to keep you going, and when needed fighting, until you make it.
I’ll be right there by your side each step of the way. I’ll be cheering you on, believing in you sometimes when you don’t even believe in you, knowing that you still have more fight in you. Knowing that you will make it. Knowing that your life can be amazing. Knowing that it’s meant to be amazing.
8. Be Disciplined and Work HARD — Along with fighting for your why, you will need to be disciplined and work hard. I’m not the coach that tells you to take it easy and coast. For most of the people I work with, there’s too much on the line to spend hours watching Netflix. They are making a better world for their families and their employees. They have meaningful dreams and aspirations that promise to make this world a better place. This stuff matters, it’s important, it’s urgent.
To reach your goals you are going to have to be strategic, you are going to have to backwards plan, you are going to need an annual plan, bi-monthly sprints and assessments, weekly goals, and daily goals to stay on track to make sure you get to your goal. To make sure that you are grinding on your dreams every day.
Hope is not a strategy. I know, this is another one people don’t like to hear. Hope is a nice place to rest, to take a breather, to feel better, but the emotion of hoping does not move mountains. Hope does not feed your family when you’re struggling to make ends meet. Action, courageous and imperfect action is what moves us forward despite whatever circumstances we might find ourselves in. You’ve got to take action. You’ve got to do your homework, put in the time, be strategic, plan, get your hands dirty, invest, be courageous, sweat, show up, and keep showing up, and keep showing up, and keep showing up.
I remember being a gymnast. I started when I was three years old, and since then until I started college I had strict, badass, tough coaches expecting me to show up, to do one more mile, to do 50 more pushups, to do that beam routine 100 more times if necessary. Then, I became an adult. These expectations to push the limit, to see all that you’re made of were gone. I don’t know about you, but I get a thrill out of exploring what I can achieve that seems impossible to most. Whether it was getting published when I was in law school, or running 50 miles, there is nothing like the feeling of setting a goal that scares the heck out of you, and then doing the work to become the person that was able to do that thing.
So my question to you is: when was the last time you pushed? When you were so excited about a big scary goal that made your stomach turn, your hands sweat, your knees shake, that made you think “Oh, [choose your own expletive here]”, but that also made you feel equal parts excited. Where you were in it for the journey, for the person you would become along the way. If it’s been a while, my invitation and challenge to you is: isn’t now the perfect time to GO BIG again? What are you waiting for?
9. Morning Routine! — Alright, we’re getting more and more strategic. This one is a MUST. You have to have a morning routine. Sorry, there is no way around this one if you want to be successful and reach your goals/dreams. The way you start your day sets you up for how you show up to the rest of your day, and really the rest of your life. So, every day start your day with intentionality.
Lucky for you, you can find a 10-minute video on setting a powerful routine here, and for my overachievers, I have an extended 25-minute training here.
So tell me, what do you do during your morning routine? How about your evening routine? Tell me using the hashtag #StepIntoYourPower2019!
10. Take Charge of Your Growth — In 2019 you have to decide to be in charge of your own personal and professional development. It’s shocking to me the number of people that after graduating from school don’t pick up a book for personal or professional development again.
Newsflash, your education did not end when school ended! Your education is a life-long journey, a beautiful and joyous one too. Now, you get to read whatever interests you. And to learn you don’t just have to read from an outdated and boring textbook … you can watch youtube videos, listen to audiobooks, read books, attend workshops and trainings, and take online courses to name just a few options.
In this day and age, with the amount of free amazing information that is out there, ignorance is a choice. You can basically learn just about anything you can imagine for pretty much free. It’s amazing. I mean, we should wake up every day jumping up and down, absolutely excited and amazed at the incredible wealth of information that we have at our fingertips. Literally, have a question? Ask your phone. Done. This is amazing guys!!!!!
So please, please, please, please…this year decide to be fully in charge of your growth and development as a person and as a professional. Geek out on the things that excite you, learn, grow, and have growth goals of the knowledge you’d like to have at the end of the year. I know that this alone could completely change your life.
For part II we got more tactical and strategic. In today’s newsletter I asked you to fight for your dreams, to be disciplined and work hard, to establish a morning routine, and to be in the driver’s seat of your own learning.
Next week, we’ll cover going outside your comfort zone, doing more of what makes you happy, prioritizing self-love and self-care, saying yes to love, and having faith and trusting yourself above all else. Stay tuned and make sure to invite your friends to also subscribe!
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